There are times when we enter into projects with God ... expecting one outcome ... but He has His own ways. I'm going to tell you about some things that have happened to me because I've set out on this Bible Reading adventure. These things have come to me and, if they had happened apart from this adventure, they would have been seen as gifts, as good things ... but it would have been like the difference between something practical vs something lavish -- something lavish that is wished for when only the practical is expected.

First came a very long explanation ...

My January book for TBR Challenge was to be told ... by Dan Allender. I've skimmed over bits and pieces of his book before but this time the objective was a cover to cover reading. It got difficult because Dan's writing always shakes me up. I had to stop four chapters from the ending. I read another book completely and then started yet another book. Eventually, this last weekend, I finished to be told....

I've read it. More. I've felt it. I've imagined it. I've loved it. I've cried over it, too. Again.

Imagine this: You meet up with a friend and your friend starts telling you something he's been pondering and thinking through. You find yourself nodding your head following his every thought because you've been wondering about similar things and reading similar books.

Then, it happens, your friend leans forward and says, "And about this topic, here. I've been thinking. It's like this ..." And suddenly you're swept away by his observations because the topic is the very topic that has been causing you to pause and wonder.

When the conversation started out, you never expected your friend to walk right up to your "Pondering Point" and lay out a fresh new angle of understanding. His angle might be a point-of-view that's just a few degrees different from where you've been standing and looking over that "Pondering Point" BUT just that little shift ... and poof! -- your understanding is enlarged and stirred-up ... ... ... and yet that does not mean that either of you can fully grasp the meaning.

When that sort of moment happens, you find yourself staring at your friend, your mouth hanging open but not a single syllable can escape you. You're both left standing there looking out over "Pondering Point" in complete and total awe.

~ ~ ~

You know I've been pondering over and over how it is that Moses and God constantly negotiated.

God would say, "That's it! Move outta the way! I'm tak'n 'em down!"

And then Moses would say, "But you've promised, and you know what the neighbors would say."

Then God would relent but also cook up some punishment that made everybody regret that He didn't just kill 'em and get it all over with.

So, the Israelites would say, "We swear you're our one and only and we'll never look at another god for as long as we live."

And God would believe them! And then, fairly often, he'd even take back His punishment or reduce it or shift it.

~ ~ ~

Do you know what Dan Allender calls all of that? He calls it haggling. He says in our culture we don't get that the whole process is an honorable, win/win battle of wits. And then Dan marches right over to the thing that was bothering me last week. Samuel told Saul that God isn't man so He doesn't change His mind. And Dan continued on to point out that God says "I AM who I AM" (no Popeye did not coin the phrase) and that God claims to be the same yesterday, today, and forever ... so ...

Dan's idea is that evidently God has an ability that man does not entirely possess: God can change His actions without changing Who He is ... nor does it change His plans.

I think Dan's on to something. We've all made a few changes in our actions from time to time that do not change who we are. And we can make simple variations in our plans and not be kept from reaching a short-term goal. But it is impossible for us, as humans, to constantly change our actions without becoming a different type of person. And it is impossible for us to make changes, over and over, to a plan and reach our original, unmodified goal.

But here's the thing, when we haggle with God in prayer, God may be considering variations ... BUT ... we have to make a change ... a real change. Why? Because our hearts are transparent before God -- our true objectives are absolutely exposed to him. Our very own haggling can bring us to a place of repenting of our ways. So when the Israelites repented and said "You're our One and Only," God knew that in their hearts, at that moment, that's what they really wanted.

~ ~ ~

So I'm pondering all of this while in the Bible I read about Ahab ... as in Ahab and Jezabel ... as in ...

Ahab son of Omri did more evil in the eyes of the LORD than any of those before him. He not only considered it trivial to commit the sins of Jeroboam son of Nebat, but he also married Jezebel daughter of Ethbaal king of the Sidonians, and began to serve Baal and worship him. (I Kings 16:30-31)

and the really short version is that God and Elijah went to war with Ahab and Jezebel. I'm sure you're familiar with the scene where Elijah told Ahab that if he wanted the drought and famine to end (after 3 yrs) that he needed to gather up all of Baal's priests for a great big sacrifice event. If Baal showed up first with the fire, then he won. If God showed up first with the fire, Baal and the priests lost. So Ahab took Elijah up on the deal.

They gathered up allllll the people. They set up an alter and then Elijah stood around mocking the priests of Baal while they went heavy into self-mutilation trying to get their Baal to show up and rescue them. But, of course, he doesn't. So Elijah's turn comes and he has God's alter drowned in water. But! Poof! Up went the alter and the sacrifice in a ball of fire.

So, of course, the people fell down on their faces and for another moment in time God was their true God ... oh and they killed all the Baal priests.

Ahab went back and whined to Jezebel and licked his wounds. And Ahab was just not a happy camper ... maybe because if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Those Baal priests seem to have been brought in by Jezebel.

But get this! Read on. God keeps trying to convince Ahab to pay attention to Him. God even gives him a big battle victory. But Ahab is far more interested in getting Jezebel to rescue him. You'll just have to read about it in I Kings 17 - 21. So finally, God sends Elijah to Ahab with this message:

17 Then the word of the LORD came to Elijah the Tishbite: 18 "Go down to meet Ahab king of Israel, who rules in Samaria. He is now in Naboth's vineyard, where he has gone to take possession of it. 19 Say to him, 'This is what the LORD says: Have you not murdered a man and seized his property?' Then say to him, 'This is what the LORD says: In the place where dogs licked up Naboth's blood, dogs will lick up your blood—yes, yours!' "

20 Ahab said to Elijah, "So you have found me, my enemy!"
"I have found you," he answered, "because you have sold yourself to do evil in the eyes of the LORD. 21 'I am going to bring disaster on you. I will consume your descendants and cut off from Ahab every last male in Israel—slave or free. 22 I will make your house like that of Jeroboam son of Nebat and that of Baasha son of Ahijah, because you have provoked me to anger and have caused Israel to sin.'

23 "And also concerning Jezebel the LORD says: 'Dogs will devour Jezebel by the wall of Jezreel.'

24 "Dogs will eat those belonging to Ahab who die in the city, and the birds of the air will feed on those who die in the country."

25 (There was never a man like Ahab, who sold himself to do evil in the eyes of the LORD, urged on by Jezebel his wife. 26 He behaved in the vilest manner by going after idols, like the Amorites the LORD drove out before Israel.) I Kings 21:17-26

Sounds pretty definite!
Right?

Don't count on it.
Watch this!

27 When Ahab heard these words, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and fasted. He lay in sackcloth and went around meekly.

28 Then the word of the LORD came to Elijah the Tishbite: 29 "Have you noticed how Ahab has humbled himself before me? Because he has humbled himself, I will not bring this disaster in his day, but I will bring it on his house in the days of his son." I Kings 21:27-29

Wait!
What?!

Yeah.

So the short of it is that Ahab got three more years but eventually the blood and dogs do show up.

So you know ...

That matched up with what Dan was saying about not being able to negotiate with God without changing aka repenting.

~ ~ ~

But
of Course

You know I had to go back and re-read about Samuel and Saul.

Why did Samuel tell Saul ...

"... He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change His mind; for He is not a man, that He should change His mind." I Samuel 15:29

I realized that possibly it's because Saul never humbled himself. He refused to enter into negotiation with God. He negotiated with Samuel but not God.

Watch

Samuel to Saul: (I Samuel 15 )

This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. 3 Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.'

What Samuel does is this here ...

7 Then Saul attacked the Amalekites all the way from Havilah to Shur, to the east of Egypt. 8 He took Agag king of the Amalekites alive, and all his people he totally destroyed with the sword. 9 But Saul and the army spared Agag and the best of the sheep and cattle, the fat calves and lambs—everything that was good.

It continues ...

These they were unwilling to destroy completely, but everything that was despised and weak they totally destroyed.

So God said to Samuel ...

11 "I am grieved that I have made Saul king, because he has turned away from me and has not carried out my instructions." Samuel was troubled, and he cried out to the LORD all that night.

Evidently it does no good to have someone who intercedes for you if you're heart isn't repenting ... because ...

12 Early in the morning Samuel got up and went to meet Saul, but he was told, "Saul has gone to Carmel. There he has set up a monument in his own honor and has turned and gone on down to Gilgal."

13 When Samuel reached him, Saul said, "The LORD bless you! I have carried out the LORD's instructions."

14 But Samuel said, "What then is this bleating of sheep in my ears? What is this lowing of cattle that I hear?"

15 Saul answered, "The soldiers brought them from the Amalekites; they spared the best of the sheep and cattle to sacrifice to the LORD your God, but we totally destroyed the rest."

"Woah!" says Samuel!
Ok technically he said ...

16 "Stop!" Samuel said to Saul. "Let me tell you what the LORD said to me last night."
"Tell me," Saul replied.

17 Samuel said, "Although you were once small in your own eyes, did you not become the head of the tribes of Israel? The LORD anointed you king over Israel. 18 And He sent you on a mission, saying, 'Go and completely destroy those wicked people, the Amalekites; make war on them until you have wiped them out.' 19 Why did you not obey the LORD ? Why did you pounce on the plunder and do evil in the eyes of the LORD ?"

So Saul tried again to justify himself (and blame others).

20 "But I did obey the LORD," Saul said. "I went on the mission the LORD assigned me. I completely destroyed the Amalekites and brought back Agag their king. 21 The soldiers took sheep and cattle from the plunder, the best of what was devoted to God, in order to sacrifice them to the LORD your God at Gilgal."

But Samuel will hear none of it.

22 But Samuel replied:
"Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
and to heed is better than the fat of rams.

23 For rebellion is like the sin of divination,
and arrogance like the evil of idolatry.
Because you have rejected the word of the LORD,
He has rejected you as king."

Saul lied to Samuel. He lied to God. Then the story goes on ... and eventually Saul basically said, "Ok. Fine. I was wrong. I sinned. Just please follow through with the rituals so that I am not humiliated before Israel."

34 Then Samuel left for Ramah, but Saul went up to his home in Gibeah of Saul. 35 Until the day Samuel died, he did not go to see Saul again, though Samuel mourned for him. And the LORD was grieved that He had made Saul king over Israel.

God said ... (I Samuel 16 )

1... "How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king."

And so Samuel worked out a plan with God so that he could accomplish this without being killed by Saul. And when Samuel arrived at Jesse's ...

6 ...Samuel saw Eliab and thought, "Surely the LORD's anointed stands here before the LORD."

7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

And eventually they got around to David ... who we all know was far from perfect ... but ... all the rest of the kings were measured against David and found lacking (except for Josiah) and even Paul in Acts 13:22 says ...

After removing Saul, He made David their king. He testified concerning him: 'I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.'

And then I was left in the quiet ... with questions and amazement ...

I'm sure you can see I'm a little excited about seeing this whole thing a little bit clearer. And while I do feel blessed to understand a little bit more ... Well, you remember me mentioning how it is that looking over "Pondering Point" from a different angle may just leave you in deeper awe of the whole view? Ok so let's follow wordy with some quiet awe ... let's consider the lavish ...

This question is from Dan (with much paraphrasing) ... and me ... How is it that God is patient enough to listen to us whine, complain, haggle, negotiate, beg for a different way ... God being all powerful, all knowing ... why does He tolerate it? -- Just to let us move a little closer to repentance and/or comfort? Or even ... get this ... more communication with Him?

And wasn't it just awesome the way God knew just how to layer His book with Dan's book just for me? Remember? I was reading them both. Then I stopped reading Dan's because I felt overwhelmed. Then I came to this basic question of "Can we or can't we change God's mind?" Then I suddenly felt prompted to finish Dan's book. And then I read some more in the Bible and bumped into Ahab. Then it was all too much and I had to re-read Samuel ... but this time it was with a different view. I just felt so in awe that God took notice of the timing that I needed.

And well one more for the road ... Literally. You remember I told you about how people up here are always picking Billy up to take him to the train station or take him home? Ok, well, on Presidents' Day morning, Billy was walking along and a lady stopped. She convinced him that the trains were running on the holiday schedule -- 10 min early with a 2 hr wait for the next train! She took him to the train station. He barely made it. Her husband, R., was already there.

That night R and Billy came home on the same train. That night the both of them had to walk home. That night R invited Billy to church. That night R committed to picking us up and taking us because it's a church that we already knew we'd probably enjoy (much longer story left out right here).

And so ... we went ... and ... well ... so ... I've been reading all this Old Testament stuff ... and ... I've been wishing that I could do the Beth Moore study on the Patriarchs. ... And ... So ... just for me ... they scheduled some time ago ... to start the Beth Moore study on the Patriarchs next week and they handed me my very own workbook last Sunday! How did they know?

The Sleeping with Bread meme is propagated by Mary of Life, the Universe and Everything. It gives us a chance to pause and consider God's blessings and a chance to evaluate what is giving us pause or grief.