A little play about how to explain Meebo to your grandmother who has never used a computer. In honor of Elaine of Meebo and her grandmother (who has never used a computer but still has many stories to tell) and all things East Texas.

Stage: Two tables. Table on the left (and it's surroundings) is set up to reflect the home of one of your Grandmother's friends. Table on the right is set up to reflect the home of Your grandmother.

Enter Stage left: Your grandmother enters the home of Grandmother's friend carrying a piece of stationery, a pen, and a small bell.

Enter Stage left: Grandmother's friend.

They move toward the table.

Your grandmother places the stationery, pen and bell down on the paper and turns to her friend.

Your grandmother: "Now, whenever you want to write me a note, you write on this piece of stationery, with this pen. When you are through writing, ring this bell."

Grandmother's friend: Places her hands on her hips, does a double take with her entire body that implies your Grandmother needs to be institutionalized immediately ... and says "Now, why would I want to ring that bell?"

Your grandmother: raises a hand in the classic stop motion that may be native to East Texas and says ... "Now, just listen, I'm not through ... When you ring that bell, I'll hear it at my house ... Then you go on about your business here, watching TV or whatever you do do (possibly implying with her body language that she doesn't think her friend does all that much because she's still stinging from the insinuation that she belongs in an old-folks home) ... And then in a little bit you will hear a second bell. When you hear that bell, come back here to the table and you will see a response from me right on this here piece of stationery."

Grandmother's friend: Looks to heaven for guidance and says ... "Now, look. This is just Tom-foolery ..."

Your Grandmother: (traditionally people think Texans speak slowly ... but we East Texas women know that when we get riled up ... the speed of our conversation revs up considerable ... so ... the following sentences and paragraphs are delivered in rapid fire succession.)

"I know this sounds just insane ... but listen to me ... this is what my granddaughter's been inventing. She says that people all over the world are talking to each other just like this ... Why people in China are talking to people in Canada and people in Canada are talking to people in Germany and people in Germany are talking to people in India and people in India are talking to people in Australia and people in Australia are talking to people in Holland and people in Holland are talking to people in the UK and people in the UK are talking to people in TEXAS and you wouldn't believe the number of Texans talking to Texans ... Just by using this MEEBO thing -- this piece of stationery and a pen and a bell.

"We've been friends since grade school and you know I've never steered you wrong ... well maybe that one time but ... well he didn't turn out too bad after you were married to him for ten years and got him trained right ... please! just try this out.

"My granddaughter tells me we can talk all day on this one piece of stationery ... that it just grows in length and it never runs out. If we want to keep all of it we can. Or if it starts to get way too long, we can cut off the old conversation and throw it away.

"Give it a try ... if it works we have a story to tell and if it doesn't work you can call the paddy wagon."

Grandmother's friend: sighs heavily, shrugs, shakes her head and says ... "I tell you what, just because I don't know what else to do with you and I really like that little granddaughter of yours, I'll give it a try. But if it doesn't work out, I will be calling the pastor to see what he thinks of your behavior and what he thinks would be best."

Your Grandmother: (rolling her eyes and looking to heaven for patience for her unknowing friend) "I knew I could count on you!"

Your Grandmother exits stage left and (eventually) enters stage right and goes to the kitchen for ice tea. (no this is a winter day in East Texas, she's not removing her coat and she is going to have ice tea waiting in the 'fridge)

At this same moment, on the left side of the stage Grandmother's friend sits down at her table. Mutters stuff to herself about Tom-foolery, friends at church, the pastor, and the paddy-wagon. And reluctantly she writes (as she mutters to her self about the world talking to itself) "Hello World!" Then she dutifully and deliberately rings the bell. And then she stalks off to her kitchen to get ice tea.

Your grandmother hears the bell, goes to her own table and reads out loud "Hello World." She laughs with glee. Sits down writes a responding message. Rings her bell and picks up the newspaper to read the letters to the editor.

Grandmother's friend hears the bell, goes over to her table and let's out a very long "Welll I Never in all my life ... Praise the Lord ... wait till the pastor hears about this ... and our friends at church ..."

And then they spend the day discussing the letters to the editor, the pastor, their friends at church, how to avoid the old-folks home, and above all the miracle of grandchildren ... all while reading the newspaper, fixing dinner, and drinking ice tea.

Because they are grandmothers ... they keep the entire conversation which is as large as three rolls of paper towels by the end of the day.

the end

addendum: If Your grandmother doesn't go to church, change the pastor to mayor and church to cafe ... it will work just as well.

If you think this play sounds incredible, change the stationery into a pc, the pen into a keyboard, and the bell into a sound card. Then you have instant messaging ... and then you can understand how incredulous the whole thing sounds to any one who has never used a pc.

If you think the above sounds normal, turn both tables into pc's, turn Grandmother's friend's stationery into one of Your grandmother's web pages, and turn Your grandmother's stationery into her web browser. The pen stays a keyboard and the bell is still a sound card. Then you have meebo.

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