The Women are Fantastic Friday meme is curated by Sophie, of A Hole in the Fence. It gives us a chance to tell about the women in our lives who are encouraging us to have a "We Can Do It" attitude. Today I am telling the story of "Hope."
I will call the next lady I want to introduce you to Hope. That's what she clung to and that's what she always tried to give me. Of course, I met her in a coffee shop. You will find this to be a running theme in my life. Over several months I visited her in her business -- almost daily. When she wasn't busy we would talk. Very slowly she let her story off the real. She never revealed any part of her story to brag about her accomplishments. She told me her story to encourage me -- to let me know that women have courage and that God works things out.
When she was young, in Korea, she married a man who beat her often. When she had her first child, a son, everyone told her he would be happy and stop. He didn't.He nearly killed her on more than one occasion. She stayed in the marriage until her son was three or four because in Korea, at that time, the father automatically had custody of the children. But she was forced to admit that a mother who was alive might have a chance to have more influence than a mother who was dead. But her son's father blocked her at every turn. If she saw her son, it was as he came and went from school -- from a distant hiding spot.
After some years Hope met and married an American. She came here to the United States. Hope immediately established a caring and respect filled relationship with her mother-in-law. One of their first adventures together was to purchase a house. One year in an apartment and Hope was done with that idea. Every minute that she had she would drive around neighborhoods looking for a house. One day she found a house she liked that was for sale by owner. She went and got her mother-in-law to act as a translator and then she negotiated her way through her first purchase of her first home.
Many years went by and one day Hope dreamed that her ex-husband had died. She called his mother. It was true. It was also true that Hope's son was running wild at 16. So, Hope, went to Korea to bring him to the US. It's not an easy process and she expected to be gone at least three to six weeks.
On about the sixth or so day that Hope was in Korea, her brother came to her and told her that her husband had died back in the states. At first she did not believe it. She was sure he had confused her husband with her father-in-law since they had the same name. But it was true. It seems he died almost immediately after he had returned home from taking Hope to the airport.No one found him for four or five days. Hope told me this story very slowly.Very small pieces. Many days. A little bit of one layer. A little bit of another layer. It is still very painful for her.
As you can imagine Hope was in a very bad state of shock. But after about three weeks she had to continue the process for her son. And so she returned to Korea and brought her son back.
Now. I get the order mixed up ... but I believe that she had just finished a battle with breast cancer right before she went to get her son and right before her husband died. Yes. That seems right. Because almost immediately she was embroiled in a battle with the hospital and doctors. They wanted to take away her home to pay for the bills. She tried to file for medical bankruptcy but they said as long she she owned her home she wasn't eligible.
So Hope did what they said would surely kill her. She worked about 80 hours a week as a waitress. She saved her house. And she paid it off.
Either at the same time or shortly after Hope sponsored her son, she also sponsored her mom. She and her mom put their heads together and did lots of research. Hope's mother cooks for her a very special diet. They believe it has helped her avoid a recurrence of the breast cancer.
While she was working so many hours she also sponsored her sister and brother-in-law and their two teens. And then she got fed up. She refinanced her house and purchased a business of her own.
Hope longs to see the business work not just to pay the bills but she wants her sister to have a way to be established and independent. She admires her sister very much and includes her in the business decisions.
Her son married a Korean girl and brought the girl here. They do not know if they will stay. They get very homesick. They have two children now.
Hope is thankful that she has been able to do so much for her family. All the same, there is no denying that there is a load of stressful responsibility sitting on her shoulders. But that does not keep her from continuing to be generous. When last I saw her, Hope was preparing to sponsor one of her nephews.
Telling My Stories and Discovering Your Stories
