Where IS my NEW Baby?!
03/26/07
Ok ... so ... a few of you may have noticed that ...
- I have a daughter who lives in Portland.
- She's seriously thinking of popping down to Dallas, TX for a long weekend in April.
- Nothing hugely urgent -- just her haircut is six months old and there's this once-a-year nationally-top-ranked art show ...
- This kind of chatter use to be reserved for the likes of the Kennedys and the Rockefellers.
So obviously air travel has come a very long way. VERY! We live in a new world. Really.So but for some reason ... UPS wants us all to believe that they still actually put all of those "ground shipments" into their little brown trucks and actually Drive them across country ... from say ... Colorado to New York.
Personally I don't believe this. I have proof, too.

This is a screen shot of the tracking of my NEW computer from Colorado to New York. First, as we've established ... I don't think it's in a little brown truck somewhere. Nope. Because if it were ... they could at least have the decency to stop and scan the box and transmit it's new location ... like ... is it safe to assume that it's made it across the flatlands of Kansas ... or did the driver take the scenic route through the southern edge of Kansas? No. They can't stop and scan the package and let me know if it could be in, oh say, Indiana, visiting my friend Laurie. No. They can't tell me any of this.
Why? (well aside from the very high unlikelihood that my friend would know a UPS driver who would know that she's my friend and that that box is my new baby ...) ... They cannot scan the box and give me a location update because the box is not in a truck. Shipping it by truck from Colorado to New York would be hugely inefficient. It would NOT fit into the new world.
So ... you see ... obviously ... there's a plot.
- It boarded an airplane.
- My new computer is sitting down in NYC right this minute in a warehouse.
- They can't scan it and provide me with an update on it's current location because then I would expect delivery today.
- This is all about their convenience.
Look, don't expect logical from me. They aren't telling me where my new baby is. For
four six days all I've known is that it's left it's originating city in Colorado ... well really do I even know that? What exactly does "Departure Scan" really mean?
My nerves are wearing thin.