Even though I had suspected that we had entered a higher elevation, I was not prepared for my sunrise surprise.

This was the day that my mountain obsession truly started.

I had no idea that I would see mountain range after mountain range for the entire duration of this trip. I have seen the Rockies as they run through Colorado and into Wyoming. They are consistently huge and glorious. Consistently. But the mountains on this trip provided variety even in similarity.

Every day I thought the mountains I woke up to would disappear and the land would become flat. This expectation may spring from the way one can see the Rockies and then can't see the Rockies when traveling through Colorado from Pueblo to Denver to Longmont. Or even trips to areas where there are hills to the north, south, and east of Dallas … there is all this flat land surrounding each area of hills. Not so when traveling through southern New Mexico, Arizona, across and north through California and through Oregon.

So, right, this was not an extremely well researched sightseeing trip. This trip was all about getting there. Distance between points was researched. We realized we would be traveling over/past some elevated areas. Would that put us at risk for snow? Would it affect how quickly we reached a point? Those were researched and pondered … and it was assumed we'd see the land … and I was expecting to feel the awe I always feel on the open road. All the same, I was like a kid in a candy store. "OH look there and there and there!" I knew I would have candy but I was surprised by the variety each day brought.

It got kind of old for Valerie really fast. It was also a point of hidden stress that she couldn't find words for until later.

There came a time much later in our trip where we kind of reached a point of ... I don't know what to call it. It's definitely one of the very vital themes of "Shifting Gears."

For now, let's just say we reached a point of thinking a little less in terms of "Mother Dictating" and "Daughter Resisting or Complying." And it surprised us both to discover ways our old roles were still playing out.

But since we hadn't come to that point in the trip yet ... we didn't exactly know what to do with each other about this. She did find enough words to let me know that my repetitive exclamations were wearing on her very frazzled nerves. So there were times I was stifling my enthusiasm and there were times Valerie was trying to refrain from causing bodily harm.

That said, don't think we weren't also having fun. There were lots of wide open spaces in between these moments of "hidden stress" where we were on the same page in awe of our circumstances and our surroundings.

For example ...

When we took off, we were so amazed at how the mountains really looked so much like heaps of dirt and stone scattered about. And so I must tell you about one of those moments parents are privileged to from the time their children start talking -- the opportunity to look at the world though the fresh perspective of their child -- because kids say the most surprising things! I was just amused to find I still felt that way ... what with her 20 and me in my 40's. (Don't make me figure the exact age out!)

We were driving along gasping and gawking and Valerie said, "Well, I guess God had to do something with all that dirt out of the Grand Canyon!"

It might not line up with your science or theology ... but ... hey ... I adopted it as truth right away. It's just so bloom'n obvious and all.

The other thing you should know is that Shelbie dog did Not like the fact that there was NO grass in the desert. She would not release her poor little bladder until she located some greenery. And it didn't matter to her if it was thorny or not.

There is more to tell about this day but I am out of energy and time. So, here's what I plan to do ... as the weekend and week progresses, I'll put up some of the photos from the trip and we will tell some more about the trip.

Let's see ... this day was December 31, 2003 and we traveled Hwy 10 from Van Horne, TX to Phoenix, AZ.

Valerie and I haven't gotten to compare a lot of notes this last week but the plan is that she'll be adding a comment here and possibly adding a post during the week.

And now it's also your turn to weigh-in with your comments and links. Of course, as usual, we want to hear your observations and thoughts about our story thus far. AND If you have a story or photos about living or driving in this area of the country, tell us about it or link us to it.

Before we left we were told we were crazy nuts. Just asking for trouble!

She said: "Pack it all, ship it ... including your car ... and fly ... you and the dog."

We said: "Well that would be expensive ...And besides what would be the fun in that?" And "Shelbie would freak out."

We were looking forward to the fun of travel. We love road trips and we'd never been on one just us, and V had a new car, and the dog would be happier, and we were really looking forward to seeing the land, and... etc.

(But Billy, my spousal unit, did check it out and estimated that it would probably cost us at least $2000 more than driving and then shipping everything else later.)

Soooo we planned ahead in a fairly careful fashion.

By Thanksgiving we knew the family was right: We didn't know diddly about driving in snow and ice - We're Texans, after all. So, we were definitely not driving up through Denver and crossing over the Great Divide. So should we take 40 out past the Grand Canyon or do the unthinkable and drive south to El Paso and go across on 10? We were suspicious of 40 ... quite a bit of elevation ... and it does snow ...

We got into a little habit -- well actually we started using our Starbucks networking habit. We started asking everyone who sat down near us if they traveled by car on a regular basis to Southern California or even to Phoenix -- during the winter. Finally we found someone who has children in Southern California. He told us that it's not unusual for some part of 40 to close during the winter and that he'd only had trouble on 10 once. ... So 10 it was.

It just seemed like an awful lot of extra driving ... an extra 140 miles ... but ... then getting stuck somewhere dealing with weather didn't sound good either.

We carefully researched our hotel options as well at PetsWelcome.com. Traveling with a dog was complicating that a bit. We also know toyed with the idea of camping a few nights ... but that sounded like extra labor and extra load ... until we hit upon the KOA Kamping Kabins! Untimately, we decided on some KOA Kamping Kabins and several hotels and even a cabin one night.

We were quite pleased with ourselves ... with tax and all it was suppose to be somewhere near $350 for 8 nights lodging -- $400 if we stayed an extra night somewhere.

We did a little bit of scenery research ... but most of that research was about our options re the Grand Canyon National Park if we went that way ... we never really quite got around to the whole "know your landmarks" research that most road-trippers do.

Pretty much the only clues we had about what to expect re scenery was the scenery we'd seen around the hotels on their various the web sites.

And we had a Driving Plan

Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Dallas, TX to Van Horn, TX
Route: 20 to 10
Mileage: 518

Wednesday, December 31, 2003
Van Horn, TX to Phoenix, AZ
Route: 10
Mileage: 550

Thursday, January 1, 2003
Phoenix, AZ to Bakersville, CA
Route: 10 to 95 to 40 to 58
Mileage: 519

Friday, January 2, 2004
Bakersville, CA to Santa Cruz, CA
Route: 46 to 1
Mileage: 284

Saturday, January 3, 2004
Santa Cruz, CA to Crescent City, CA(Redwoods)
Route: 101
Mileage: 430

Sunday, January 4, 2004
Crescent City, CA to Portland, OR
Route: 101 to 126 to 5
Mileage: 284

Google Maps estimates that this is 2,656 miles and 44 hrs of driving. You can see the route all spread out on Google Maps


So ... we were set ...had a plan ... all we had to do was follow the plan.

What is it? ... those sayings about plans ...

"Best laid plans of mice and men ...." - they do something but not a great something ...
The other that comes to mind is ...
"Man plans, God laughs"

Written by Valerie aka Daughter V

This is perhaps been the most popular question. My script answer is:

"I wanted to obtain a bachelors degree in graphic design from the Art Institute. From all the branches of Ai that offer a B.S. or B.A in graphic design Portland was the most appealing weather. Phoenix too hot, D.C. too cold etc. I was once told that I would like this part of the country for all the art. Also, I was feeling stuck in Dallas and ready for a change."

Why not Seattle? I can't clearly remember why I went for Portland over Seattle. I know that at one point working with Portland's financial department was ridicules. Needless to say I think I should have taken that as a bad omen because nothing changed over the 2 years I spent at the school. But by that point I felt too involved with Portland to choose Seattle. However, I have visited Seattle and think their downtown is also great.

Many things fell into and out of place between the choice to send off for the application paper work and actually moving.

The Academic Side of the Story:

In June of 2003, at the age of 20, I successfully graduated with an associates in graphic design. In my graduating quarter I had one class that made you go find jobs and list who, what, where, and requirements. I noticed a strong trend in the requirements such as: bachelor's degree and experience. I technically didn't have a bachelor's nor had I obtained experience. At this point I still had friends in the enrollment department from previously working there. I started asking how the online program worked or how transferring to a different school worked. Online, could be exciting but oh, so much self-discipline. Quickly, online became unappealing but moving -- now that opened up some possibilities. So, I started to plan.

The Finding Your Self/Family/Emotional Side of the Story:

I had been raised that adults where not scary people and that at any age I could talk to them. Now, that's not to say I didn't go through my phase of hating adults and all the suppression they stood for. In the grand scheme of life it is my up bringing that allowed me to obtain really good adult friendships.

Through participating in a writers group that met every Thursday night at a local Barnes and Nobel that happened to be attached to "Pam's coffee shop", I met a very nice lady by the name of Dotti. When I told her I wanted to move to Portland, site unseen, she said "good for you" and started planning the logistics of a prelim visit for jobs and a place to stay. Then her husband got involved and we got to go first class (awesome!) and stay at The Vintage Hotel downtown off of Broadway. The trip was very helpful. I found a place to stay, got familiar with walking around downtown and found a few job leads. I am so grateful to her for this trip.

I met Cheri through a woman's Bible study that met every Sunday afternoon to discuss and watch videos produced by Beth Moore, the study was Breaking Free -- life changing. My step-sister was the one to invite me and this was a big deal for me to go. Somewhere between 18 & 19 I stopped going to church and this was a huge deal to my family who, being all Baptist, strongly believed that you must show up every time the doors are open. But I was angry and frankly didn't want reminding of my sin. The Bible study was during the summer and worked out because I was planning to move in September. Also, I felt a little pull to go back to church but didn't want the hassle of becoming connected to a church -- only to leave. Yes, a Bible study would be good.

Well, about three-fourths through the study the group was down to Cheri and me. Cheri was the mother of the lady who was leading the group. And yes, at this point, even the leader had gone back to Chicago for school. Cheri began to counsel and mentor me. Lets just say some healing got done. The best gift I received was realizing I could have a personal relationship with the Lord. Oh, yes, I had been saved as a little girl but I had never realized the relationship could be personal. The summer of 2003 is the closest I had ever felt to God.

Then Cheri threw me this great going away party that everyone cried at. I still have all the cards that everyone filled out about why they like me and a good memory of me. These cards are very special to me. I might not be able to lay my fingers on them right this second but I have them and I tend to find them when I need them most. It was the best party ever!

Moving to the west coast was also very appealing as a start over point. My teens where filled with drama. It started at about 12, one peak was 16 the tippy-top being 18 the smoothing out at about 20. College helped to fill a lot of free time. In Dallas I felt pigeon holed and stuck with no real opportunities for me. I struggle with change because people notice when you change and will question you about it and sometimes try to make you change back or ridicule you for making a change in the first place -- I'm not exactly sure why I associate these things with change but there you have it. I tell you this because I perceived that the people in Portland had no idea who I was. So, for example, I like hats but don't wear them much and people in Dallas would notice that it was a change for me to wear a hat. But in Portland no one would know that wearing a hat wasn't a normal activity for me, therefore it would be filed away as one of those "normal" things I do. I thought that I could make changes about my self without getting the 3rd degree.

My original plan of moving in September didn't work out, money and other logistics. Also, Cheri and I both felt this command from God that I was not supposed to move yet. I can't remember exactly how the new date got picked but I finally moved on December 30th, 2003. I truly believe that everything happened according to God's will because the way things unfurled would not have been in my timing or in my planning, if I had had anything to do with it.

Did I mention my dog got to go with me? Shellbie, this eight-year-old Finnish Spitz mix that loves car rides got to go. Yea!

Deep Breath. Ok ... and ... we're off!

Well, how and where to begin? Let's begin with an intro.

On a particular day, I was in Dallas visiting with Valerie at "her Starbucks." Her Starbucks was on the east side of the LBJ Loop. "My Starbucks" still tended to be one up in Plano. Even though Billy and I had moved out to East Texas, we were still often in town to take care of various aspects of business.

Since you're wondering ... A coffee shop is "yours" if these three defining elements are in place. One) The baristas know your drink -- and your first name. Two) The regulars know your first name and where you sit -- and automatically move from your table when you arrive. Three) The assistant manager, manager, and district manager know you send comments to the corporate office. (Or if it's a real coffee shop owned by a real person, they know your name and your pet peeves and passions.)

Valerie and I weren't meeting for any specific reason that I recall. Since Billy and I had moved, we often met up there to enjoy each other's company and have our favorite coffee. Valerie was nearing the end of her studies in Graphic Design at The Art Institute of Dallas. She began to review for me her options for classes in her last few quarters.

At that time the school only offered two year certificate programs which was, apparently, only enough to bring Valerie into her "season of discontent." Her frustrations began to surface and escalate as she tried to narrow down her choices and select just a few more classes from a broad expanse of options and desires.

Valerie began to express ideas much like this, "When I finish the certificate program, I'll only have the absolute minimum skills I need to go get a job. It won't be a career. It will be a job. Plus the market place is changing and the competition is increasing and the jobs are getting fewer. I need a degree."

These were valid concerns. All very logical, don't you think? Yes. Logical. But Valerie wasn't content with just logical. Nope. I knew we were all going to be help Valerie with more school'n when this next paragraph exploded into the air.

"Besides, I'm not content with just knowing the skills. When I walk into the library at the Art Institute, there are books and books on the history of design and the concepts of design and ......." on and on she went. Passion showed up and the party was just beginning.

And so this was the first of many discussions with Valerie at "her Starbucks" and at "my Starbucks" about continuing her studies in graphic design. I may as well tell you right here that not all of the discussions were fun. Some were full of tension due to the incredible red tape and paperwork. Some had frustrations over financial planning. There were many logistical issues. And let's not forget that while Valerie and I can and do make a great team ... we are still "Mother and Daughter."

At first there were big picture decisions. In short order she decided that she wanted to continue in another Art Institute that offered a full degree, then it had to be a Bachelor of Science (not Arts) degree, and then ... for some wild reason ... she insisted on choosing one across the country in Portland, Oregon.

For a brief moment in time we toyed with moving up there with her and living RV style up there in order to reduce the cost of housing ... but it just was not going to work out. There were other things in store for us. Besides it kind of messed with one of the main reasons Valerie wanted to move to Portland.

I must tell you ... my children have never collected insignificant friends. And they also tended to collect adult friends with resources. I believe this is largely because they were not afraid to associate with adults in "grown-up" venues that other teens would have to dismiss as "boring." There are many things I got wrong as a parent ... but this is one thing I am pleased with. While this is partly the result of homeschooling, it is more largely the result of a family attitude. From a very early age, their father and I expected them to ... when stuck in adult gatherings ... "sit still and pay attention (ask questions if it's okay with the adults) and be ready to tell me what you learned." It was the way we were raised. And since we raised our children in the same city with our parents, this attitude was re-enforced all around them.

And ... the results of this family trait began to pay off in large ways for Valerie.

After Valerie was accepted by the Art Institute in Portland, the finer details of finding a job and housing had to be worked out. One of Valerie's friends from her writing group came up with a very generous offer: She would take Valerie to Portland to scope out the place. Her friend's husband decided it was time his wife had a very nice trip ... so he took over and designed an elegant trip that included a stay in a very classy, very old hotel in downtown Portland, Oregon. Of course, they flew first class. Valerie will have to tell you about the benefits of this trip.

At this same time, another lady whom Valerie met in a Bible study began to mentor Valerie in her walk with the Lord. She also helped Valerie begin to heal some major hurts in her life. Valerie will be the one to decide what is appropriate for her to share regarding this lady's gracious work in her life.

But I will tell you this much: Towards the end, when it was just a few months from Valerie's departure date, she began to tell Valerie she felt an urgency about what they were working on because she believed God was preparing something very important for her in Portland.

--- Ok some notes.

1) Remember we're looking for other parent/child road trip stories to keep us company. Drop me a comment.

2) For this post (and maybe a few others) since we are still in Dallas in the story -- If you (with or without family members in tow) have visited Dallas and have a story to tell about your visit there ... that is FAMILY FRIENDLY ... post a link to your story (or tell it in under 400 words)

3) Up until today, a sort of start to this story has been up on my web site. As of today, it's in hiding because I don't want you reading ahead to the spoilers. Although there's lots of spoilers not yet written ... but that's beside the point (or behind it or not even near it.)

4) In honor of "National De-Lurking Week," I am asking everyone who is reading to speak up and say "I'm here. I'm listening." That's it. That's all. You don't even have to have a blog of your own. There's help for you in the "Commenting Ideas" below if you've never commented before.

Sometimes stories get interrupted over and over. So it is with a story my daughter and I have been trying to tell.

From December 30, 2003 through January 9, 2004. Daughter V, aka Valerie, and I went on a little cross-country road trip.

It was full of "man plans, God laughs" moments. It was full of growing pains and healing balms.

It is not the story ... it is only the beginning of the story.

As it goes with stories and time, details are slipping away from us. We didn't document it well in the first place. I know you will find this astonishing ... we even run across pivotal points that we remember very differently from each other.

We're getting a wee bit frustrated with this untold story. So...

Every Friday ... Beginning January 12 ... until we get the story told ... We are going to post a portion of the story. Most of the time I will be telling the story because I am in a place in time where I have much more time. Sometimes though Valerie will have to be the one to tell her view. Sometimes I hope Billy (my husband) will chime in with "and meanwhile back at the ranch ...." Perhaps we will get other family members to also show up and write a bit here and there.

One of our goals is to get below the "we were exhausted, we drove, we saw, we arrived, we survived" ... into the "I thought, I thought that she thought, I felt, I thought she felt, and I was exceedingly frustrated about this or that in our lives and in each other" ...etc.

We learned a lot about each other and about healing and about where our hurts really were.

We think there's even more to talk about.

Like scenery! and many other joys and moments of laughter!

Here's where YOU come in

It takes both of our brains and voices to tell the story ... AND it takes prompters (you) to dig out the better parts of the story and clarify the story. AND ... we tend to float around on the surface ... getting lost in discussion about trivia

So ... we need for you to read between the lines and ask us very personal, pertinent questions about what was
going on within.

Within reason, we will answer you.

But wait there's More!

In addition to getting to goad our memories, we invite anyone else who has a story that is either about a (one) parent and a (one) child traveling more than two days together, to send us a link -- if you have or are also telling your story. Somehow, someway we'll make a list of such stories.

But wait ... there's still More!

In the course of telling our story, we do actually arrive at certain destinations. If you have written your own story about visiting this place, When we arrive at that destination in the story leave a link in the comments. If you have a little short story of like less than 400 words, and you don't feel possessed to write about it on your own site, you can leave your story in a comment.

Ultimately

Gradually we will put together a very interactive group of pages that tells our story and hopefully inspires others to also tell their stories.

We Look Forward to Your Company on Our Road Trip! ~ and beyond ...