Last week Sophie, of A Hole in the Fence, announced a new meme: Women are Fantastic Friday. Yes, I know this isn't Friday but, well, I've gotten over the fact that I'm running behind and I hope you will, too.

When Sophie announced her meme, I became very enthused about it because for a couple of years I've wanted to do a series on women who have inspired me. I am not inspired when I meet a woman who wants me to be convinced she has arrived. I have a preference for teachers and leaders and friends who are not only aware of their faults but they confess their faults in order to receive help and guidance themselves.

So most of the stories I will tell you are glimmers of our greatness as women. They will be an opportunity to enjoy the glazed sides of clay figurines.

The first lady I want to tell you about is JoAn -- a lady who has been my consistent encourager and coach for the last four years.

As a consistent encourager she has called me almost every weekend ... especially when I was going through really rough times. "Just calling to see how you're doing."

I was seldom doing great -- usually angry about something -- but JoAn would get me talking and before long she'd have me hoping against hope ... looking at little things I could do to guard my emotions ... gently nudge my thoughts with stories and questions ... and she'd covet with me to pray about one aspect or another. Then she'd turn the conversation towards my children and find out how she should be praying for them. Then we'd talk about what was going on for her and we'd choose an aspect of her life to pray over ... usually it was a person near and dear to her.

This one aspect alone would rank JoAn in my "most admired" ... especially since she's never flinched when I was angry.

But, you should also know this ... When we met JoAn we were all hanging out at a particular camp ground full-time. Gradually our friendship grew and we would go to the chapel service at the campground and then "quick, hop into the car" (that's an inside joke) and buzz into a nearby town for a second church service with the locals. Often we went on to lunch ... sometimes just she and us and sometimes with additional friends. These were some of the best Sundays in my life.

JoAn had a stroke many moons ago. Her left side became numb and lame. But, once she moved past the original shock and struggle, JoAn settled into a routine that required her to make changes to her personality. She learned to ask for help and accept appropriate help when it was offered. She learned to arrange her life to fit into the schedules of those who could help. And she learned to accept slow, consistent progress as a valid way to progress through life.

JoAn also learned to arrange her life so that many people could come and go and do little bits of things for her ... all based on their strengths. For example, when I came to visit, she would have her computer questions all lined up. When Billy came with me, she would already have her garbage packaged up and ready to go out ... and he thought nothing of trotting it down the lane and flipping it into the dumpster.

So ... for the first nine months or so that we knew JoAn, her daughter and grandson also lived at the campground in their own trailer. Then her daughter moved to SE Texas. JoAn insisted on staying at the campground by herself. Then about six months later we moved back to Dallas for about six months and had to leave JoAn to her own resources (which she utilized very well). Then we moved back to East Texas to a nearby campground and we were able to see JoAn a little more often. Eventually though the day came when JoAn moved down to SE Texas to live in her travel trailer on land belonging to her daughter and son-in-law.

We got to go down and see JoAn a few times before we got to dragg'n our bodies around the country. One visit was Thanksgiving with her family. That was lots of fun because, after dinner, out came the guitars and a harmonica and lots of country singing. ... which eventually led to a revelation from Billy and me ... that he sings a particular song to me ... which caused JoAn to (very innocently of course) ask ... "and thennnn what happens?"

And so she also provided for me a way to be impish ... because, now, sometimes, I set Billy to grinning big by asking ... "and thennnn what happens?" And then we laugh because remembering JoAn is always a good thing.

Oh! And it turns out ... JoAn and Billy share the same birth date ... but not the same birth year.

A story of Accompaniment. This is to acknowledge the people who came and kept me company on this journey.

First, I would like to thank my parents.
My dad has always read my web site.
My mom recently convinced my dad that I needed a replacement camera for the one I broke.

When my dad found out I was working on NaBloPoMo, he sent me some really funny comments and I kept thinking I would get to post them for him. But ... So ...

The bulls are saying, "One more step and your dead meat."
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If we could read Shelbie's mind after Matthew [Daughter V's husband] put her on the plane, it would be something like this: "I thought that boy and I were getting along pretty decent ... I mean all things considered ... maybe I shouldn't have gotten into that fight with Z [their cattle dog]. But I must admit to myself, it took two dogs to replace me. I must be
pretty good. I will make it no matter where I land,- if this trip doesn't kill me."
.....Hours later....
THERE'S BILLY BOY! Now, there is a nice guy!
Yes, he sees me! He is coming this way! IT'S TRUE, ALL DOGS DO GO TO HEAVEN!!
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As to the family huddle on the beach. It looks like they are taking a vote as to who is going in first to test the temperature of the water.......Poor Pamela.....

I'll come back and get the comments and put them where they should go as I finish re-doing my comment section.

This list contains the names of the people who came and commented on my site. Between their posts and my sporadic replies we generated about 85 comments ... and some very nice conversation ... and that's where I believe we become known.

Thanks you very much!!

oddmix
Daughter V (My middle child)
elaine (meebo)
meghan (My niece)
Sarah (She's my oldest)
Kit (Food and Family)
Melanie Watts (Caffinara)
Kim (Knitten Kittens)
Mary-LUE (Life, the Universe and Everything)
Tonyette (Random Spewings)
johnmoore (from Brand Autopsy)
Barbara Heaney (Here at my Desk)
sari (The Geek Inside)
Vicki (Victoria Gaines)
Kris (to-Breathe)
Darren a/k/a Clare's Dad
Kathy B. (My Empty Nest)
e-Mom (Chrysalis)
Susan (Susan's Musings)
The Husband (Who says he loves me and I should keep writing :-) Any wonder I love him?
Sophie (A Hole in the Fence)
Dirk_Star
daisies (Pluck the Petal)
Liz (Looney Mom)
Barbara (Here at my Desk)

Thanks again!

I especially want to thank the people who have joined with me in making a public declaration of alliance. Yes, we're reading each other's blogs. Yes, we're commenting on each other's blogs. And we're also actively promoting each other. So, basically, I also look at my list of Blog Alliances as a little truth in advertising.

oddmix
Mary-LUE (Life, the Universe and Everything)
Sophie (A Hole in the Fence)
Darren a/k/a Clare's Dad

I can commit to a few more alliances so if you're interested drop me a note.

It's been a blast! So, One more quick thanks to

• M. Kennedy aka Fussy.org for creating NaBloPoMo
• Schmutzie of milk money or not, here I come for her coaching
• Lane of Pink Elephants for the randomizer
• Merseydotes of Elevated Umbrella for being an encourager of many
• and thanks to The Odd Mix for really getting me mixed up in it all!

I am SOOO taking tomorrow and the weekend OFF O F F OFF !!! well ... except there's this little thing I want to do for the holidays ... we'll see ...

Mary is taking advantage of our alliance and sent me a note requesting a highlight on her post re breast cancer and breast self-examination. And ladies and gents ... I think she's on to a really great idea here ...

Mary's post documents some facts for women and Men regarding breast cancer. One of the facts is that 70% of breast cancer is discovered through self breast-examination. Something we all have heard about and uh I'm sure we all do on a monthly basis ... especially over 40 ... right? Yeah. I thought so.

Mary-LUE has the same challenge so she's decided to acquire some accountability and has made a pledge to the universe.

Personally I think she's onto the idea of a great meme. Let's go tell her we all need some accountability and we need her to run the meme.

Come on ... I need you to go post over there and back me up.

I knew I could count on you!

A story about Darren as Clare's Dad.

Some alliances just make themselves. Darren a/k/a Clare's Dad falls into that category. I've throughly enjoyed his company on this NaBloPoMo adventure. Thanks, of course, to the great choices made previously by The Odd Mix. (See A Little Cheer for the explanation.)

I think we can firmly establish now that I do not read people's profiles. I read their blogs ... I read about their lives ... their stories. So, I was very surprised to read in Dirty Water Dogs and Black and White Cookies that Darren and his crew lives in CT and takes the train to Manhattan. If he's living there and doing that, he's practically a neighbor! Well except that I'm on the NY side of the tracks. Listening to him describe Manhattan gives me the ability to believe that it's more than "what I see traveling to and from the airport -- a distant row of very tall, very grungy brown buildings that make me shudder with claustrophobia." I find myself looking forward to my trip that my husband is planning for us as uh ... what was that ... oh yeah a "bridge and tunnel" tourist.

Darren as Clare's Dad is involved in his daughter's life and he doesn't mind helping her get in touch with her feminine side. You may explore how he accomplishes this in Costume Parade, and Secret Project – Part Two.

In She Made Cleaning Up After the Party Worth It, we see that Clare's dad is easily put on cloud nine by his daughter's hugs and praise. But even in the end of this post and even more so in Segregation, Part 2 we see that Darren is also "on to" his daughter's ways.

He's also on to the ways of Clare's school. Now, Darren seems to think that much of this is because Clare is attending the same Catholic school that he attended and from which he "graduated twenty years ago." I don't think so. I'll let you read through his blog and decide for yourself, though.

As all parent's must, Clare's Dad is also remembering that he is a person – a human being. The parents who fare best in the short and long run of the parenting game are the parents that surface from the parenting trance ... as sweet and intriguing and binding as any trance can possibly be ... and realize that they are still adult humans who must have assistance from and give assistance to other adults. Amazingly enough, the world was not created to revolve around immature short people. They are fascinating and time consuming and endearing ... a worthy mission. But there comes a time when we "have to keep company with adults." And what we do with the adults during adult time "needs to matter – to count for something in this world." (Quotes denote phrases uttered by parents all over the world.) (OK and we aren't addressing the immature tall people in this post. Short version: Avoid them – run! The world implodes around them.)

The first clue that I had to Darren's abilities as a mover and a shaker in the adult world is his collection of Daddy blogs. My first thought when I saw it was "Alright! A Daddy Blogger who knows his fellow Dads!" Then I watched him interact with other parents in ways that both addressed what was real and strove to give hope or encouragement or just a simple Half-time Pep Talk: A Little Cheer. I look forward to having Darren's company on our continued blogging adventure (sans NaBloPoMo x-).

A story about Sophie and A Hole in the Fence

Ok I have to tell you ... the first thing that caught my eye at A Hole in the Fence is Sophie's way of being able to say a lot with just a few words. For proof ... I give you her whole blog. It's a new blog ... but she doesn't write like a new blogger.

So ... when it came down to discussing our alliance (I admit I hadn't yet read Sophie's "About" page), I sent an email asking if there was any particular way she wanted to be described. She sent me back a piece that knocked me out of my chair. I personally think she should do the You wouldn't know ... post.

Here's what Sophie sent:

I started my blog primarily as another outlet for my writing. I am a published author of over 50 books and on-line projects, but they are in the realm of instructional material, programming guides, and other software-related information. While I love the challenge of teaching others new skills, all of these publications are "works for hire," so there is very little of my personal self in them.

My blog is a place where I can write about the things that touch my heart: my family, my faith, and whatever else happens upon my path that inspires me. I try to write with humor because I've yet to find a situation that wasn't helped with a little bit of that.

My main focus is on parenting. Being a parent is a thrilling, but exhausting and frightening, job. Sharing my experiences with other parents, whether through blogs or in person, has really helped me. So, I would like to extend that sense of camaraderie and help to my blog visitors as well.

I have a special affinity for working mothers as well, since I am one. I think we are all too often misrepresented in the press.

Every so often, I like to point out articles or news bits that I find interesting and send my visitors in that direction.

"We read to know we're not alone," C.S. Lewis said. I think that we bloggers write for that same reason as well.

See ... so ... this just explains everything. Technical writing is very, very difficult. I've written a few pieces and then spent hours taking words out. (Yes, I hear you all giggling over the very idea that I would need to remove words.) Not to mention trying to rearrange the grammar so there ain't no dangl'n partysipples. But, believe it or not, technical writing is excellent practice for being able to express oneself precisely.

For proof positive that Sophie IS a technical writer hanging out with programmers, I present Sophie's very first post on her new blog: Hello World. (Don't worry if you don't get the joke ... unless you're a technical writer or a programmer. If you're a technical writer or a programmer and you don't get the joke, don't talk to me. Do the research.)

And then ... today I discovered something else very interesting. Some of you know Clare's dad and that he's a stay-at-home dad. Well, I did a double take to discover that Sophie is the wife of a stay-at-home dad. But no, Sophie's Pumpkin is not Clare.

Still, I think it's way fun to read the blogs of two families going at this child care solution from the same direction ... except one is a dad-staying home ... and the other is the mother going to work. In A Water Bottle for You Sophie discusses some of her views on this arrangement and also provides us with an excellent one-liner.

Which brings me to Sophie's sense of humor. It was indeed the second thing that caught my attention. Not only can she hit the hammer on the head with a few words, she can be hysterically funny when she does it. I do not recommend drinking and reading her blog at the same time. So that you will be prepared for exactly how outta the blue her wit comes buzzing right out of your peripheral vision, I suggest you read Electra comes to Our House.

AND then ... I was ROTF LOL (You all know that's Rolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud, right?) to discover that Sophie has this same personality test obsession that Mary-LUE has! What is it with this Myers Briggs thing? May I Quote you on That?

Now we get to the third part that was the final straw regarding the establishment of an alliance between Sophie and myself: She's not mean. The day after we agreed to an alliance she (unknowingly) confirmed that this attitude is not an accident. She discovered and promoted Chookooloonks Kind Blog Pledge in a very revealing post entitled: Playing at Being Nice. A few days earlier I noticed the eye-catching Kind Blog badge on Kit's blog: Food and Family. So, yes, adding the badge to my blog is on my to-do list ... because it definitely comes with good company.

Since it's been a rather difficult week for a great many of us, I'm going to repeat Sophie's last line of her email to me:

"We read to know we're not alone," C.S. Lewis said. I think that we bloggers write for that same reason as well.

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A story about Mary-LUE and "Life, the Universe and Everything."

Me: Just introduce me and I'll introduce you.
Mary: But what do I say?
Me: Just write about me as you perceive me to be from my posts in my blog ... plus here's a little additional info.

Well it sounded like a simple plan but Mary-LUE caught on to how challenging it really is before I did. One thing that's challenging is that she's on the West Coast and I'm on the East. About the time her day is revved up good, mine has ended. So we're asking questions of each other and receiving answers in a very nonrhythmic fashion which is inconvenient for both of us but kind of amusing too ... because it's forcing us to be creative with the info we have. Which for me is painful. I want to ask one more question but she's still fast asleep or maybe rushing through her morning (8:30am for me is 5:30am for her.)

Mary knows what her blog is about ... Life, the Universe and Everything. I admire this because it took me forever to get to the point that I could even come close to defining the purpose of my own blog. Ok let's get down to it ... I'm outright envious of people who just know: "Oh my blog is about ...."

I've enjoyed Mary's blog because she is compassionate as an educator (I was not born a coal miner's daughter) and as a friend & mother (Miscellany only compassionate people see raisins the way she does and takes on extra kids so friends can have FUN). Even as a wife she manages to see the humor A Brief History of Time.

Mary gives credit where credit is due. As evidence, I submit her entire blog. If she references anything at all, you have the link! No extra research required on your part. No taking her at her word ... unless you want to.

Mary has no hesitation about sharing her faith as it applies to her daily life – in an "oh by-the-way, today I was talking to my friend and we were talking about ... God." Sleeping with Bread Monday: for a Lifetime

Mary's writing skills floor me. Just give her one little glimmer of an idea ... and she will turn it into something very creative. Mary enjoys taking advantage of memes. One of my recent faves is Now and Then Part II.

Mary is socially daring. Not only does she particpate in memes, she also created a meme! Which I find to be a very brave, brave act. Yes, I know you find that humorous considering my building of alliances, but trust me, it's different ... really ... it is! Mary's over at The Daily Meme competing for attention with other memes and all she gets for a tool is one description. Then she has to set the example and hope that others just show up to keep her company. If no one had shown up for my alliance idea, I could have ... you know ... ignored that post ... casually deleted it in the future ;) ... but with a meme ... you're on record ... big time.

Mary's description of her meme: Sleeping with Bread.

Mary has a "Links" section on her blog. I wanted to ask her what they meant to her ... why she chose them. But, as I've mentioned ... the time being what it is ... and lack being the mother of creativity ... I've decided to invite Mary to come over to my blog's comments and promote their importance. (all or a portion – her choosing). LOL and here she thought she was through writing for the intro. ;)

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When I first mentioned that I wanted to create alliances with other bloggers, The Odd Mix e-mailed me almost immediately. He likes the idea. So. Today I am introducing him as my first alliance.

The Odd Mix is a man who is madly in love with his wife ... as he reveals in: How I found my forever love. (I'm still hoping for the wedding story.)

He solves life's challenges with a dash of the mischievous. Check out the poor goat down near the bottom in Pictures, Primarily.

He knows how to keep it real: 101 Odd Facts and You wouldn't know ...

He knows how to admit when he's wrong. I can just hear how this converastion went ... Mr.OddMix: It's a beefalo. Son: It's a Yak. Mr.OddMix: It's a beefalo. Son: It's a Yak. Mr.OddMix: If that thing's a yak, I'll blog that I'm wrong.

He's a man with a dream and a plan: Burry those slippers, Toto.

And he knows how to make a person stretch to view their world in new terms. If you are into photography and writing, you must check out The Odd Mix's Weekend Words Challenge.

Finally, I want to point out that The Odd Mix allows deeper questions to surface and be pondered.

In Pondering today, Mr.OddMix asked "... when do I say I know you?" He was speaking to everyone who reads his blog and asking them to define which conditions exist before we can claim we know a person. I bloggled my way through a comment that turned into an essay and ended up saying, "When you know a person's stories. When you know what defines their joy and sorrow." (very paraphrased)

But then in explaining it to my husband, it dawned on me that, in perspective with the whole post, Mr.OddMix's real question is in the middle of the post.

My heart breaks for AT who has lost his love. My heart breaks for his sons who have lost their mother. And it breaks as if I knew them well, for I have been getting to know them for two weeks, though they don't know me.

So here's the question. What does it mean when I say I know you?

And then a little further down he asks,

"Must you know me in return? Can I know a person without being known."

What I hear you asking, Mr.OddMix, is this: "Is this strange new way of "knowing" people legitimate?"

First, I want you to know this question has probably been asked since someone created the first pen-pal system between "strangers." I can assure you ... it was asked when email groups were created, and then IM's have been thoroughly questioned, and forums, and now it's the blogosphere's (and social networking sites') question.

Second, having lived through all of the above systems, I want to assure you ... it's real ... it's legitimate. Friends and acquaintances and experiences shared and gained through the Internet are extremely real. Interacting with people on the Internet has Real-Life consequences and directly affects how we interact with our spouses, children, friends, even our work.

Your reaction to AT's loss is as real as if he were your neighbor because he is your neighbor. You may only wave during the good times, but ... it doesn't mean the sad times are phony.

In Real-Life, you'd still show up to give a helping hand in a crisis. You wouldn't avoid the whole situation and say "Oh I only wave to him in good times. I don't really know the man." And, just fyi, in real life, the grapevine acts as the Internet. So, you would know your neighbor's story.

Mr.OddMix, remain real in your writings because, yes, you are creating real-life impact. And we need men of good character teaching with their lives ... because you never know when the next old or young person is going to stumble into your life via your blog and be encouraged to keep trying ... just simply because you manage to keep trying.

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