Advice for parents of children

This comment got way out of hand. Yes it started out as a reply comment for Claire's Dad and his readers. ... But well ... you can see ... it would have been crowded and noisy in the comments section. So, I moved it over here.

Guys ... I had similar stuff ... they call it ADD these days. It's also called too much sugar, too much TV, too little of this and that and the other ... AGGgg! It's also called being young!

If it is ADD, just help them be different without being squished by the school system.

Regardless, ADD or not ... these are some things I know help:

Routines help. Teaching them to associate the next daily routine thing to do with the thing they just finished. I don't know of anyone who teaches how to build routines better than FlyLady. She's sugar coated -- beyond what I can take on a daily basis -- but she's got the best plan. Read her web site and print out her plans. (Thinking I need to get back and visit the whole thing again! Moving so much and so many lifestyle changes is looping me!)

Teach your kids to be aware of little things they are doing to distract themselves AND give them a plan to deal with it.

For example, I was working with my nephew on his reading and even though he was following the words on the page with his right hand, his left hand was quite literally waving around and distracting him. So I taught him to purposefully put his left hand down on his desk and tell it that it would get a chance to play in a little while but right now it was the right hand's turn. It worked! Then we moved on to his feet.

I started this little idea with my daughter when she was about three ... her hands would not go to sleep ... they stayed awake making up stories. So I taught her to tell her toes good night and her knees good night and each of her hands and her mouth and her eyes. Each one had to be told goodnight by her (well us together at first). It helped. So now when I can't sleep I do the same thing for myself! LOL

Also, teach them to think their way through a project before they start. "Ok, now what do you need to have before you start? Alright and then which order are you going to do it in?" This one and my 15 min timer get me through my day. Sometimes, I have to lean against a wall and think it through to keep me from wandering off half way through the thinking process.

If they have trouble with starting from the beginning with a plan, get them to start by stating what they want to end up with and then backing up from there. Technical term: Reverse Planning.

If they come up with a plan, let them work it. I was teased about things like making a list before I cleaned my room ... "clear dresser, dust it ..." and then I found out ... sometimes that's what we need. My bosses sometimes thought I was "the organizer" because eventually I'd come in and say ... "OK this is the routine I have to follow. And it was simply no more than a glorified list of tasks. I didn't even know why I had to follow it. I just knew I had to do it. And at work, in a sheltered environment I could do it ... until I got bored with the job.

Boredom is the bane of our existence (unless you're really great at slipping off into a coma ... aka sitting in front of the TV or gaming systems -- letting your brain become as addicted to it as it does to cocaine). That's when a great work ethic comes in handy ... as long as you won't get crushed by the system. In talent, Tom Peters talks about building your own brand and working on "Wow projects." I just found out that he has a book on the whole "wow project" idea. It is on my reading list for tonight. Hopefully the book store has it. ... Anyyyway ... the reason I bring this up is that I realized this is more or less something my parents did for me in teaching me "If you run out of something to do, add just some little something. Look around and see what else could be done." It helped me so often. And it made my completed projects "wow."

And my resume developed it's own brand list of wow projects. Once I was in an interview and the guy looked up and said, "How did you develop such a diverse set of skills?" I looked at him and answered, "I like challenges. I like to learn." Which moves us from "wow" to ...

GET TO THE LIBRARY. NOW. Encourage your kids to study any subject they're interested in on their own. Butterflies, Air, Trains, Plains, Automobiles, etc. Surround them with books. Tell them: "Look it up. Find out for yourself." My kids swear to me this is one of the key contributors to their success in life and school. They tell me they are astonished that their peers don't have a clue how to figure things out for themselves. And, God knows, I'm glad I got a few key things right because ... woah ... what else I've put them through.

So this is my "quick" post for the day. I still have lots of things I want to post today ... because I'm sick of talking geek and there's a lot more in my life than geek! But first I have to go find my train ticket (I have an uneasy memory of putting it down ... maybe inside a book but never putting it down where it belongs) and do some laundry and wash my hair and then take the train and then set up in a coffee shop. :-D

In the mean time, I highly suggest further reading from Dr. Daniel Amen. Especially check out #5 & #6 on his 10 Ways to Exercise Your Brain Healthy and also check out Seven Ways To Optimize Your Brain and Your Life plus Brain Dos and Brain Don'ts. Then explore the site and I highly, highly recommend his book Healing the Hardware of the Soul. As usual, I don't agree with every word ... but far too many of them I do agree with.

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